Telemarketing & Phone Soliciting

Along the years I've developed some strategies to pick up phone calls. I always answer the "Who is this?" question with a "Who do you want to talk to?" question, for example. I have a caller-id box so whenever I see a number I do not recognize, I know it is either a wrong number call, a seller or a solicitor. I always help wrong number callers, if they allow me to do so (some hang up before even saying "I am sorry."). On the other hand, I never help sellers or solicitors.

Not rarely I listen to someone on the phone saying "I wanna talk to the responsible for this house". What is that supposed to mean? She (it is normally a woman on the other end, don't ask me why) doesn't even know your name or the name of the responsible for the house. But she wants to speak to "him" anyway. I used to ask "What is the subject?", but they keep saying "Are you the responsible?". I have improved my answering strategies recently and currently I am only saying "Do you happen to know the name of the responsible for this house?", invariably receiving a "No." as an answer. Then I just say "Okay. I think you don't really NEED to speak to him. *click*." Sometimes they call me back in a matter of seconds. I then yell at them and they do not call me anymore.

Some months ago, I had a call from a Citibank representative. They wanted to convince me to open a checking and/or investments account with them. I do not know how they select who they are going to call, because my financial situation shouldn't be that attractive to Citibank after all... I don't have much debt or much credit. Whatever. I don't tend to spend much time listening to those telemarketing operators, because as soon as I realize it is a call that does not interest me, I just speak out loud "I AM NOT INTERESTED, THANKS. *click*." and hang up, while the operator is still babbling on the other end. Some people wait for them to finish their part and then say that are not interested on the product or service being offered. Definitely sound more polite than my approach, but I am sorry, I am not going to waste my time being polite to someone I don't know, that is most likely not going to be polite with me after I decline the offer and hang up the phone, who is offering something I do not want. After all, they are trained (and paid for) to listen to people much ruder than me. And I don't really consider my approach rude at all. I can sleep right all night after I do this. And at the end, it saves my time and their time.

Getting back to the Citi call... After I hung up on the caller, it took about 30 seconds for them to ring me back. I used the exact same procedure, with one minor addition: "YOU HAVE JUST CALLED ME MOMENTS AGO. I AM NOT INTERESTED, THANKS. *click*.". I think it was another person calling this time. I was not sure, because it was fast, really fast. Less than one minute later, phone rings again. Guess who? Citibank! I had to use a few more words, this time, but it worked out: "THIS IS THE THIRD TIME YOU CALL ME. I ALREADY SAID I AM NOT INTERESTED. IF YOU CALL ME AGAIN I WILL BE FORCED TO FILE A FORMAL CLAIM AGAINST CITIBANK. THANKS. *click*.". No one ever called me after that. I think all three calls took me less time than if I decided to hear the entire Citi proposal, decline to it, explain why I don't want another checking account free of tariffs for an entire year, a free additional credit card, etc, etc, etc, and that I do not know anyone else they could call to offer the same thing. This last time, I am sure it was another person, because it was a female voice, instead of a male from the two previous calls. I think they just keep my number on their system, so another team member can pick my number and keep calling. They ought to be obligated to take it out from the queue as soon as the prospective client declines the offer, but looks like they don't do this to unpolite clients...

It was my glory when I received a memo from my company's top management giving explicit instructions on how to deal with phone solicitors. They were very clear: "Do not waste any time listening to solicitors. You don't need to feel bad, our Company already gives a great deal of money to charities and recognized fundraising institutions. Just politely decline and hang up the phone or, if you really want to contribute with their cause, give your home number and ask them to call you back later.". I still have that memo. I love it.

I act just like my company. If I decide to help (and I do help), I'll look for an institution and will give them some money. If I want to buy something or switch to another financial institution, I'll research and look for it, most probably ruling out those that called me in the past.

I want to make it very clear that I am not against charities or any other kind of fundraisers. I just do not agree on how they spread their cause using the telephone. I don't want to listen to them when they want me to. I want to be heard when I have something to say, in this particular case. That said, I just ask solicitors and sellers to send me letters or emails instead of calling me on the phone. If I am not interested or if I can't help, I swear I will recycle all the letters.